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Surrender

Do you believe that life is a struggle and that you have to fight to get what you want? Do you worry about losing control of your health, wealth, relationships and career? If you said yes to either of these questions, this may be because you have a strong belief that is holding you back from attaining the life you want. Bottom line, it is keeping you from enjoying happiness and ease on a daily basis.

Limitations

Whenever you experience limitations in your life, the cause is most likely rooted in your past. It shows up today as patterns and in thoughts such as “I always struggle with…”, “I can never realize…”, “I must be…”. These experiences of struggle and of feeling “less-than” go against your natural state of infinite joy, love and resourcefulness.

Consequently, this struggle and the feeling of no control causes anxiety or even panic. What would it be like if you could see and do life differently, without anxiety or panic? What if you were willing to surrender and give up the struggle so that you could achieve peace now?

Surrender

Surrender means that you are willing to turn your focus off of the struggle and the outcome that you think you so desperately want, and you become willing to consider that there may be a different approach. Just going that far will give you a sense of peace and freedom almost instantly. When you take your focus off of the end result that you are fixated on, what shows up in your awareness is a new perspective, new options and new alternatives. A way forward begins to come into view that before was obstructed by your beliefs.

Since many of us were told repeatedly by our caregivers and other influential people that hardship and sturggle is the only way to support ourselves and our families, that has become the only way that we see the world. It is the lens that we see the world through. Suffering and sacrifice seem like the only way to achieve happiness. Guess what, that is not truth!

Making a decision to experience life, with all of its ups and downs, without fighting so desperately for the way we think things should go, can bring us exactly what we are looking for – peace right now.

Yes, the world is going through turbulent times, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. We may be experiencing suffering in some areas however, we still have the power to choose how we show up, how we think, and to have openness about the experience. We still are creative and resourceful creatures. By surrendering to the experience, we set ourselves up to perceive and experience differently. The amazing realization is that we gain control by letting go.

Let’s Connect

If you are curious about how my coaching services can teach you how to surrender and how to put an end to limiting beliefs, sign up for a complimentary consultation.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

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Combating Low Self-Esteem

Do you ever wish you felt better about yourself? Would you say that you have low self-esteem? Do you feel like you are constantly bombarded by upsetting thoughts? Mostly about yourself and your inability to get anything done or even started? If you have a history with anxiety then the answers to these questions are most likely yes.

What is common amongst people with low self-esteem is that they are generally motivated to avoid disappointment as opposed to focused on achievement. As a result, they get locked in inaction.

This inaction is often rooted in perfectionism because perfectionism encourages you look at what is wrong and not at what is going well. Perfectionism is toxic. It holds back anyone who wants to make a positive impact on their life, family, community, and the world.

Low self-esteem and perfectionism both sound like this: “I can’t look for my ideal job because I don’t think I am good enough.” Or perhaps, “I can’t start online dating because I haven’t lost those last 10 pounds.”

Low self-esteem and perfectionism are rooted in conditional statements like: I can’t do/have/be “X” because I am not “Y”. 

And here is the illusion – often the “Y” is something that can never be satisfactorily reached.  This is a self-sabotaging way to approach life and it keeps you stuck in low self-esteem and not achieving what you want in your life. It keeps you from getting what it is that you want out of life. It also proves day in and day out that you are right about being not good enough.

Ask Yourself

Here are some questions to ask yourself. Are you ready to be proven wrong on your opinion that you need to be perfect to start anything? Have you given that opinion enough of your time and energy yet? What if I told you that you can be right OR happy, healthy and wealthy?

So instead of looking for what is missing and feeling bad about that, why don’t you let go of the delusion that you should (or could) have all of your ducks in a row and feel the freedom, energy and hope that this change in thinking can bring. Take this new energy and focus it on taking up endeavours that bring you a real sense of achievement and happiness. And then, enjoy the sense of positive self-esteem growing because it is no longer hooked on the belief that why start because it will never be perfect enough anyway.

Let’s Connect

How can you practice imagination today?  What in your life can you build an imaginary story around?  What’s stopping you from imagining – nothing!

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

 

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Taking The Stress Out of Self-Care 

I live just north of Toronto, a city filled with health and wellness clinics, centres, boutiques, and workshops. Even in my “smallish” hometown of Aurora, businesses that focus on wellness are popping up everywhere. From fitness gyms on every corner to massage clinics located in strip malls, the wellness industry is booming. If you are looking into wellness services there are tons to choose from. There’s yoga, Power Pilates, Zumba, running groups, drumming circles, trampolining, indoor cycling, pole-dancing, cryotherapy, Cross-Fit and everything in between. The options seem almost endless. 

Recently, I took advantage of a free drop-in yoga class to see if it was the right fit for me. While I was in the class, I realized that I was not relaxing and reaching that wonderful meditative state that yoga promotes. Instead, I was rehearsing in my mind the multitude of things that I had to do before the day was over. Thoughts about getting groceries on the way home, responding to a client, and a networking event that I recently heard about raced through my mind.  

What I didn’t like about my experience was how self-care felt like helplessness to me. That was not what I was looking for. I was certainly not looking for one more thing to feel stressed about. Tspend time on crafting excuses that I can tell my friends and family as to why I didn’t make it to the gym, or go to the class, or make my appointment.   

A Self-Care Strategy 

I decided that I needed a strategy for my selfcare. Just like I need a strategy for everything else in my life that I deem important. For example, healthy meals don’t just magically appear on the table at my house. It is a result of a systematic approach that starts with a positive intention (I want myself and my family to eat healthy). And it includes the necessary steps to make it happen. Everything from consciously choosing where I buy the groceries for a recipe, to research and selection about different foods is involved in reaching the goal of healthy eating.   

Why would I think that self-care would be any different?  It too requires a systematic approach that starts with intention and includes conscious actions. 

After much trial and error, I identified four necessary elements in order to make self-care a reality for me. Let me share them with you. 

Start with Intention 

Everything starts with an idea or an intention. Ask yourself; “What do I want from self care?” If it is to feel part of a community then choose an activity that involves others or is group based. Iit to challenge yourself? Then pick something that will do that. A trainer at a gym seems like a good choice. Is it to get some alone time? Then look into yoga or mediation. What really matters is that you do something, anything, that satisfies your basic needs. 

Figure Out Your Why 

Once we know what we are looking for, in order to make it stickwe need to understand why we are doing it. Why is self-care important for you? So you can have more energy? Timprove your health? Or maybe to look better? It doesn’t matter what your why is, just that you know it and can relate to it. 

Get Into the Groove (and that WILL take time…accept it!) 

Now it is time to develop positive habits. Set a reminder on your phone. Have an accountability partner. Give yourself a reward for achievement. Habits require 63 consecutive days to form, and that leads up to the last suggestion. 

Persevere  

Whatever you find works for you, make it mandatory for yourself and commit to doing it. Once you start doing something positive on a regular basis, you are going to feel better about yourself. These positive actions will leave you feeling more confident and happier.  

How do you work self-care into your life? Is it something you look forward to each day or is it just another thing you need to get done? I invite you to join in the conversation on Facebook and Instagram. 

To our health and wellbeing, 

Karen