Posts

Karen Spencer to be Featured on Close Up Radio

I am so excited to be featured on Close Up Radio with Jim Masters this Tuesday May 5th at 1 p.m EST. I hope you will join us!

With all the incredible challenges and pressures we face both personally and professionally, life can be extremely tough. No wonder we can may become anxious, stressed, and lose our way. The fact is every single one of us can use guidance and mentoring but many of us don’t realize how we are unwittingly stuck in our own limiting beliefs that actually prevent us from attaining our goals and life dreams. That’s why an excellent life coach is necessary. Not someone telling us what to do, but someone who can objectively help us navigate our lives, give us a more positive outlook, and motivate us to live up to our fullest potential.

Karen is an exceptional Life Coach and Founder/CEO of It Can Be Different, a Life coaching practice.

“My coaching work is centered on helping intellectual, driven, passionate adults going through tough times struggling with anxiety, stress, or feeling totally overwhelmed,” says Karen. “I assist my clients to gain perspective, become self-aware, refocus their thinking, and develop clear strategies in all aspect of their lives. When they are able to identify core values instead of being fixated on their problems they can break through those blocks, discover different pathways, and find appropriate joyful solutions.”

Prior to starting her coaching practice, Karen worked in corporate for over 25 years. For most of her adult life, she battled stress and anxiety which negatively impacted her career and family life. Over time as her stress increased, she took the advice of her doctors and went on anti-depressants. After several years of being on different meds she realized she craved natural healing. Yoga and meditation helped a great deal but it was after working with a life coach that not only did she find clarity, healing, and authentic joy, but that her purpose and mission was to become a Life coach so others can reorganize their lives, find balance, and achieve their dreams.

“I can truly relate to my clients because I have been lost muddling my way through life thinking it was normal just as they have,” says Karen. “It’s critical for people to understand that living in a constant state of stress is not something we should accept as normal. We must innovate life strategies, embrace self-discovery, and realize that if we change negative life patterns we can move forward confidently and regain that spark for life.”

Karen says when we take the first decisive step to help ourselves we are also assisting future generations. As we shift with positivity and new insight, our vibration changes and transcends so we reach multi generations beyond our life time, yet another reason why coaching is absolutely pivotal.

“Part of my philosophy is to help encourage people to understand how our unhappiness is rooted in the fact that we don’t feel we have any control over our own lives when we absolutely do,” says Karen. “Our joy should not be only in our future goals like anticipating true love or waiting for that promotion to happen, but in living mindfully, so we can be happy in the moment right here and right now.”

According to Karen, we are all meant to be in a natural state of joy, abundance, and love and when we are surrounded by negativity it is a clear indication we are not on our true path.

“Even though we deal with everyday life issues and challenges it’s critical for people to know we are not broken,” says Karen. “There is a simple and easy way to not get sidetracked but rather improve our lives, accomplish what we want, and we deserve to do this for not only our own well- being but for the good of the entire world.”

Close Up Radio will feature Karen Spencer in an interview with Jim Masters on Tuesday May 5th at 1 p.m. EST

Listen to the show on BlogTalkRadio

Article Credit

Keeping Our Cool in These Stressful Times

At times such as these, our life is uncertain and each day we are exposed to additional information about the health of our world, communities and families. It is important that we resist reacting and instead we consciously choose to calmly respond.

What is Reacting?

While react and respond are similar words, they mean completely different things. Reacting in stressful times is instinctual and it comes from the unconscious mind. It is a process of operating on autopilot without any filtering. This is when you say things without thinking or you act without considering the ramifications of your behaviour.

What is Responding?

Responding on the other hand is more thoughtful and it involves exploring possible outcomes and thinking through options. It is when you take a step back and weigh the pros and cons of your choices. What would be best for yourself and others in the situation?

What kind of person would you rather be, especially at this stressful time? Would you rather be the type of person who creates a calm and happy environment for yourself and your family or would you prefer to be the kind of person who is a wild card, totally out of control and moving rapidly from one emotional state to another? The key to being calm and collected is to be mindfully present and have awareness of when you have been triggered.

How to Stay Mindfully Present Through Anxiety

So how do you become mindfully present when anxiety has yet again washed over you? The best way is to step back and create some distance, physically and energetically, between the trigger (the event) and yourself. Become the observer of your emotional state and be inquisitive as to why you are feeling that way. Refrain from judging how you feel and instead just accept it and observe it.

It is also good to take a few deep breaths as you allow the effects of the trigger to reduce or fade away. The fading could take a minute, an hour, a day or even a week. Every person and every situation are different. The gift of creating distance when you are triggered is the allowance for you to consciously choose how you are going to respond.

Be AWARE

Here is an acronym that I came up with to help myself and my clients in the moment when we are triggered, and we want to avoid reacting negatively. It is AWARE.

A – Awareness

Just recognize that you have been triggered. For example, you are listening to the news and the headline is about a negative prediction about the pandemic and it causes you to feel anxious.  This is also a good time to ask yourself, what is actually triggering you. Was it the event itself (the news headline) or was it related to your thinking around the event (the story you are telling yourself about the imagined outcome)?

W – Wait

This is where you give yourself time to breathe and create space. It could be shutting off the newsfeed, hanging up from the phone call, ending the conversation, walking away or any other means to create physical or energetic distance.

A – Accept

Here is where you make sure you accept your emotions and you do not judge them as bad.  Remember, a healthy adult feels all of their emotions. Tell yourself that it is ok to feel the negative emotions and that it is normal and appropriate.

R – Respond

This is the big step. Here is the fork in the road. Here lies your opportunity to choose the road that has the best overall outcome. This is where you ask yourself, what is my goal and how can I respond in such a way that supports my goal in the best manner? Evaluate each possible response as to whether it takes you closer or further away from your goal.

E – Energy

Now you move forward from a place of awareness that you can choose the best, healthiest and most empowered response for yourself and others.

Although responding instead of reacting is not easy initially it can become easier with practice.  It is unlikely to be responsive all of the time. However, decreasing the amount of time you are reactive and staying centered most of the time is a worthy enterprise. The faster you have awareness of when you are triggered, the faster you will be able to regulate yourself and get yourself back on track.

Let’s Connect

If you are curious as to how my coaching can assist you in developing your ability to respond instead of react and to keep your life moving forward even in stressful times, request a complimentary consultation.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

Newmarket Chamber Women in Business Luncheon

It was an honour to be chosen to be a co- panelist at this year’s Newmarket Chamber Women in Business Luncheon, along with Erin Cerenzia from Magna Neighbourhood Network and Jennifer Walker from Carruthers Financial. Both women had inspirational messages about corporate social responsibility and personal financial management. I led a discussion on living with anxiety and gave some insights and learnings from my own personal life experiences.

Living with Anxiety

Some of the key points outlined in my talk were:

  • Anxiety is our natural response to a perceived direct threat to our wellbeing. Whenever we sense a threat to our wellbeing our natural flight or fight response kicks in. This triggers our sympathetic nervous system and releases a cascade of hormones into our body such as adrenaline and epinephrine. These hormones cause a change in heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension and eyesight.
  • Anxiety becomes a problem when our flight or fight response is triggered by cues that are not threatening at all – either physically or otherwise. This is called an imagined threat as opposed to a real threat. This is known a maladaptive anxiety.
  • Maladaptive anxiety sets off “what if”, worse-case scenario thinking.
  • Maladaptive anxiety can also trigger a core negative belief(s) that is based in our unconscious thinking about ourselves.
  • This maladaptive anxiety is causing the same body response as adaptive anxiety that is caused by a real threat.
  • One of the key differences between maladaptive and adaptive anxiety is that unlike adaptive anxiety, maladaptive is not founded in reality or truth. It is chronic and never ending.
  • The key to reducing the experience of maladaptive anxiety and experiencing relief from the feeling of it in our body is to address the core negative beliefs that are deep in our unconscious thinking.
  • Addressing these negative core beliefs can be done through a number of approaches, one of them being through the recognized somatic treatment offered by NLP.

Let’s Connect

If you are interested in knowing how my coaching can help you manage your emotional state so that you are experiencing more joy and less fear, sign up for a complimentary consultation.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

Release Your Emotions and Redirect Your Thoughts

What emotions should I be feeling given what is going on in the world today? Given the level of uncertainty and unpredictability in our environment, it is appropriate and proportional to be feeling fear, overwhelm and anxiousness. These emotions appear when we feel our wellbeing is under threat. And who isn’t feeling that their life, health, and livelihood is under attack? What we want to watch out for however, is to not linger in these negative emotions for long periods of time.

So, what can we do to manage our emotional state? My suggestion is to apply two approaches that together, can move you gently and effectively out of negativity.

Approach #1:  Releasing

This step involves having awareness of what emotions you are feeling and accepting those emotions fully. Be careful not to shame yourself or call yourself down for having a negative emotion.

Just have awareness and appreciation for the awareness.

Next, recognize where or what triggered these negative emotions. Realizing what the trigger was is valid so that you avoid or reduce these triggers in the future and therefore increase the chances of staying out of negativity.

The last and most important step is to release your negative emotions. You can do this by a number of productive actions such as journaling, meditation, breath work or distracting yourself with a good book or movie.

Approach #2:  Redirect

In this next step, you are choosing to redirect your thinking to better feeling thoughts and therefore calm down any negative emotions. Be sure to choose sources for your information that are reliable and truthful. This is one of the best things you can do to redirect your thoughts.

Just like choosing organic produce to feed your body, you want to feed your mind with well-researched, balanced news facts.

Secondly, you want to recognize when you have consumed enough information and that additional information will not helpful or healthy. Be sure to avoid over-indulging in information and facts. This is the same as not wanting to over-indulge in food at a buffet table to avoid making yourself sick.

And lastly, choose to redirect your thoughts to any better feeling thought. Choose to think about the beauty of your family, the appreciation you have for your pets, the improvement of the weather now that spring is upon us, the deliciousness of your last meal, etc. Think about anything that makes you feel better. This redirection of your thinking will naturally pull your emotions out of negativity and into positivity and possibility.

By releasing your emotions and redirecting your thoughts in a conscious and conscientious way you can effectively manage your emotional state and move through any powerful external event.

Let’s Connect

If you are interested in knowing how my coaching can help you manage your emotional state so that you are experiencing more joy and less fear, sign up for a complimentary consultation.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

Living with Anxiety

Most people experience feelings of anxiety before an important event such as a big exam, business presentation or first date. Stress in this type of situation is normal and it is a proportional reaction to an external pressure. Most people will experience some form of anxiousness in their lives and for the majority, the feelings of nervousness and worry disappear as soon as the event has passed.

Anxiety Disorders

Having an anxiety disorder however is usually diagnosed when the cause that is triggering the person to feel frightened, distressed and uneasy has no apparent reason. New research shows that anxiety disorders can run in families and that they can have a biological basis much like allergies or diabetes. Anxiety disorders may also develop from a complex set of risk factors including personality and life events.

Anxiety dramatically reduces a person’s productivity and quality of life. For these reasons alone, it is imperative that the person struggling with these feelings seek help sooner rather than later.

Symptoms of Anxiety

If you are experiencing anxiety you are not alone. Over 20% of adults have expressed some degree of experience with anxiety. Some of the more common symptoms experienced are:

  • Feeling restless
  • Feeling tired
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Irritability
  • Muscle pain, tightness or soreness
  • Difficulty sleeping (both falling asleep or staying asleep)

Anxiety is all about worry and fear. Worry and fear happens when something causes you to learn to be scared and worried. This learning process affects your thoughts and your body, for example by causing your heart to race or excessive sweating. You can address your anxiety by examining your thoughts and physical reactions that are happening in your mind and body. For example, you can re-learn how to be around the thing that scares you and NOT react with fear.  This is done by reprogramming your thinking and behavioural habits.

How to Address Anxiety

Some examples of how to address anxiety are:

Coaching or Therapy: There are many different types of coaching as well as therapy options. It can be a great way to change behaviours, gain confidence, learn new skills and talk with someone openly and honestly.

Support Groups: Support groups are made up of individuals with similar experiences who meet regularly to discuss their experiences. Talking to people who are also going through the same experience can make you feel less alone and more connected. It also creates a space where people can share what has worked for them.

Medication: Medications prevent your body from reacting in a fearful way. They create a sense of calmness by slowing down your brain activity.

Lifestyle Changes: Research has shown that exercise, meditation and yoga can all improve mood and overall well-being. Research also shows the importance of nutrition and certain supplements in supporting brain and mood. Other things like taking time to take care of yourself, trying activities you enjoy, and spending time with people or environments where you feel supported can help as well.

While there is no specific answer, there are many options and combinations of options that can all address living with anxiety. It can take some time to find what works for you and sometimes just knowing that there are approaches to try can be all that we need in this moment to feel calm.

Watch for my next blog where I discuss the best stress reduction techniques.

Let’s Connect

How can you practice imagination today?  What in your life can you build an imaginary story around?  What’s stopping you from imagining – nothing!

If you are curious about how my coaching services can help you access your greater, unlimited self and move you away from a life of anxiety, sign up for a complimentary consultation.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

How Journaling Can Help Anxiousness

As someone who actively manages her anxiety every day, journaling has become one of my must-do activities. I find it both easy and fun to do. It relieves my level of stress as well as works though my anxious feelings and thoughts. When anxiety shows up, typically I am ruminating, and my thoughts are going unchecked. With a little focused examination of my thoughts, I can often see the errors in my thinking, and I can experience some relief to my anxiousness.

Often my clients ask me how they can get started journaling. I coach them through the following steps:

Steps for Journaling

  1. It is important to carve out at least 5 to 15 minutes and to find a quiet spot where you can be alone.
  2. Grab a pen and either a notebook or a pad of paper and then just start by writing whatever is on your mind, whatever is bothering you. I like to have a special journal that I use just for journaling.
  3. Write about your concerns and worries. Don’t worry about your grammar or penmanship, just write. Focus on what you are thinking right now, describing the events that are most troubling. Most of the time, anxiety doesn’t have to do so much with what is happening right now but instead about what will happen in the future. If it is the future that is troubling you, then write about those thoughts.
  4. Make sure you write about your concerns and fears in chronological order. In other words, start with what is worrying you right now. Then, explore what you think might happen next and then what you fear will happen after that. Write about how all of this will affect you.
  5. Next, read and re-read what you wrote.
  6. Now re-think about what you wrote by exploring all of your concerns and thinking about other options or perspectives that could change the circumstances. Be a little tough with yourself. Ask yourself, how do I know that this will happen? Couldn’t the outcome be a different, much more positive one? How likely are the circumstances that I am most fearing? Challenge your fears. Often when we challenge our thinking, we relieve our anxiety because we see that things are less likely to happen than we think.

End with a Quote

Now that the anxiety and fear has been reduced, I like to finish off my journaling by writing out an inspirational quote. The quote does not have to be well-known, it usually is just something that I find motivating for me to stay positive. I like to write about why the quote has deep meaning in my life and how I want it to reflect the message in my daily activities.

Three of my favourite inspirational quotes are:

  1. Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  2. When a man has quietly made up his mind that there is nothing he cannot endure, his fears leave him. – Grove Patterson
  3. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. – Wayne Dyer

Let’s Connect

How can you practice imagination today?  What in your life can you build an imaginary story around?  What’s stopping you from imagining – nothing!

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy 

Therapy or NLP Life Coaching?

Often, I get asked what NLP life coaching is and how is it different from therapy. I thought it would be a good idea to start off the new year answering this question. 

What is NLP Coaching?

NLP coaching is founded on the principle that excellence in communication can be achieved by anyone. It delivers this excellence through a set of modern techniques that build powerful and transformation results. NLP coaching focuses on the communication between individuals, groups and self. The communication with self, which determine our core beliefs, self-talk, and ultimately how we feel, is the primary focus of my particular coaching practiceEssentially, NLP coaching allows for quick and powerful changes in beliefs and emotional states that no longer serve the person. These changes lead to more motivation, less stress and worry, improved mood and more clarity around what needs to be done.   

NLP life coaching is directed toward the client living a life focused on what is important to them. It enables the client to first take stock and get clarity. It also allows them to take responsibility for their life and regain control as well as achieve goals and set balance. NLP life coaching addresses issues such as: Why am I feeling like this? How can I change how I feel? What do I want reallyHow do I resolve this particular issue? How do I sort out my confusing and stressful life?   

What is Therapy?

Therapyalso called counseling, is long-term model of treatment for mental or psychological problems using psychological means. The most common approaches are behavioural therapy which focuses on learnings that change behaviour and cognitive therapy which deals with what people think rather than what they do.   

As easily seen, both NLP coaching and therapy aim to help the client feel and behave better and be more in line with their overall desired life goals. The distinction between the two modalities can be more easily seen when we look at how the two practices approach their work. 

TRADITIONAL THERAPY 

NLP LIFE COACHING 

  • Works with a patient 
  • Clinical model 
  • Patient gets “fixed”. 
  • Works with a client. 
  • Client learns new behaviours that they use now and in the future. 
  • Diagnoses mental illnesses. 
  • Assumes client is healthy and can achieve wholeness easily and effectively. 
  • Doctor/patient or Therapist/patient relationship 
  • Partnership of equals that is focused on creating solutions for the client. 
  • Teaching focuses exclusively on the conscious mind. 
  • Teaching uses both conscious and unconscious mind. 
  • Works with patient’s past and traumatic events. 
  • Focus on talking about old pain to release it. 
  • Works with client’s present.  
  • Seeks to release obstacles of the past any blocks to desired future can be removed. 

Whether you look at an NLP life coach or a therapist’s practice, it is important to appreciate that both approaches have a goal to understand behaviours, emotions and patterns so that meaningful change can be achieved. Both approaches share certain traits and aims. However, it is the approach that is vastly different.   

Naturally, the decision to seek out a therapist or a life coach is a very personal one. If you find yourself interested in further exploring how my services can help you access your greater, unlimited self and move you away from a life of stress, worry, anxiousness and overwhelm, sign up for a complimentary consultation. 

Let’s Connect 

How can you practice imagination today?  What in your life can you build an imaginary story around?  What’s stopping you from imagining – nothing! 

If you are curious about how my coaching services can help you access your greater, unlimited self and move you away from a life of anxiety, sign up for a complimentary consultation. 

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebookand Instagram. 

To our Health and Wellbeing, 

Karen  

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy 

The Secret to Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy.  Just ask anyone “what do you want most in life” and they will more than likely answer, “to be happy”. What is this happiness craze all about anyway and how do we go about being happy?

My Personal Struggle with Happiness

I have found myself caught up in the happiness craze.  I have spent lots of energy in the form of either time or money in the pursuit of it.  Often times, I thought that buying another pair of shoes will bring me happiness.  Or maybe losing the 10lbs of weight that has been hanging around my hips will make me happy.  Or better yet, maybe the next relationship will do it.

I have to say that each of those achievements did bring me some happiness however it was a fleeting experience.  It lasted for only short period of time and before long, I was right back feeling the same way I was before I either purchased the item, lost the weight, or started the relationship.

My Father’s Wise Words

I have come to realize that the best lesson on how to become and stay happy was being delivered every single day by my dad when I was growing up.  Obviously, living at home allowed me to see how my dad was but I never equated his behaviour and daily habits to why he was such a happy man.  Well, not until recently.

My dad was a man that did a few things really, really well and consistently and I think it was his formula for his happiness.  First of all, he was grateful every day for things that were in his life.  Often he would say things like, “I sure am a lucky guy”!  Was he saying this because he had the latest sports car or because we  just moved into a new, upgraded home.  No.  My family lived very modestly so it wasn’t riches and possessions that he was referring to.  My dad just felt truly appreciative  for everything he had in his life even if they were simple and inexpensive.

My dad made a habit out of making the same choice every single day and he did it before he got up in the morning.  I remember him talking to me about this  when I was a young girl. I didn’t really understand what he was getting at then, however now I see the true power in it.

He told me that every morning, before he put his feet on the floor to start his day he made a conscious choice to be happy.  He said that we all have the power to choose how we will approach the upcoming day, either with positivity or negativity.  He said that he always chose the positive option because it made the day go easier for both himself and everyone else.  He also said that choosing to be positive does not guarantee the day will go well, however “it sure increases the chances that it will”.  And you can’t argue with that logic!

Choose to be Happy

My dad and how he lived his life has shown me that it isn’t success that brings happiness per se but that happiness brings success regardless of how you define it.  Following a few key daily habits like counting your blessings and consciously choosing happiness as a way of being can propel anyone towards a much happier life and none of these things cost money and we can all choose to do them starting right now.

Even when money was tight at home or problems arose, my dad always seemed to be happy and content.  I know now that he wasn’t acting or just seeming to be happy, he truly was happy because he did a few simple yet conscious things every day that propelled him towards genuine lasting happiness.

Until Next Time

Watch for my next blog where I will talk about what formal research is telling us about how to achieve happiness.  I will share more strategies that, if practiced daily can make a significant, noticeable and measurable impact on how truly happy you feel each and every day. And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram 

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Anxiety vs Anxiety Disorder

Do you feel unsettled? Have you spent the night tossing and turning in your bed because you can’t sleep? Do you worry excessively? Are you feeling exceptionally stressed and rattled lately? Is something hindering you from functioning properly and being productive? If yes, then you are most likely experiencing anxiety.
There is nothing wrong with being anxious. Everyone gets anxious at some point in their lives, especially before big events. However, if your anxiety drags on for days and affects your daily living, then it is a problem.

What is Anxiety?

Many people use the word anxiety freely. But what really is it?
Anxiety is a strong emotion that is characterized by worrying, nervousness, and being uneasy because of something that is uncertain. How easy it is to define in words, but if you are the one experiencing the anxiety, you know it is not easy or simple.

The Fight or Flight Response

The strong emotion called anxiety is actually related to our fight or flight response. This means it is perfectly normal for a person to feel agitated, nervous, worried or experience difficulty sleeping – especially before a big event.
What is it exactly? It traces back to when man roamed the surface of the Earth endlessly to hunt for food and find a safe place to live. Our ancestors, being exposed to a life of endless running and endless hunting just to survive, developed the fight or
flight response. It is the body’s natural response to when we sense danger.
When our ancestors felt threatened, their bodies released several hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to help them prepare physically in case they needed to fight or run. Our body releases hormones that are meant to keep us physically, yet temporarily, well-equipped – like making our hearts beat faster for better blood circulation. These hormones also make us more alert to our surroundings. And once the threatening situation is out of the way, our bodies start to relax by releasing hormones that encourage muscle relaxation.
If you have experienced an adrenaline rush you must have felt how your whole body shook after the adventure. This normally happens as the body is relaxing the muscles.
Anxiety becomes a problem when it is overwhelming and constant. it may hamper everyday living by making it impossible to eat, sleep, concentrate, and even do our jobs. It is a disorder, a mental health diagnosis, when excessive and significant worry, apprehension and fear are present.

Anxiety Can Be Lethal in the Long Run

Although the symptoms of anxiety will not kill you, the long-term effects of living with stress hormones turned on can lead to life-threatening illnesses. The best thing that you can do for yourself, your family and those you love is to get help with how you manage your anxiety. Therapeutic approaches have proven to be extremely effective in generating life-long elimination of anxiety.

Let’s Connect

My personal journey away from a decade destroyed by anxiety is now my motivation to help others. You can read about my story or listen to my podcast (both can be found on my website). I explain how I discovered the miracle of neurolinguistics and belief-change modalities. My hope is that you find it inspiring and motivational so you can also turn away from anxiety disorder forever.I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram 

To our health and wellbeing,

Karen

Why do we Self-Sabotage?

It has been a difficult start to 2019 for me.  

began the year doing all of the necessary things to ensure that I was starting off on the right foot – I set goals, I outlined strategies, I made detailed plans, and I landed on targets for both my personal and business life and yet…. for some reason, I have completely ignored my personal goals. I have been blocking myself from doing what it is that I want to do for my own health and well-being. My self-sabotaging behaviour, which has looked very much like shooting myself in my own foot, is preventing me from being my best, healthiest self.    

I am baffled as to why I am doing this kind of self-sabotage behaviour and I am also very interested and motivated to stop it. I know that one of the easiest ways to self-sabotage yourself is to NOT set clear, specific goals. Not having clarity or precision on where you are going allows you to convince yourself easily that your goal is not important. This however was not where I am letting myself down. I have clear and well-defined targets. So why am I not achieving them? After some reflection, I have come up with three reasons.  

I am doing too much 

I am realizing that I am doing too much as it relates to my commitments to others and therefore I am feeling like I am running on empty. I am putting myself last too often and when I have time for myself it consequently feels like a chore instead of something that is enjoyable and a well-deserved treat. 

I am over-blending 

When I am not working, I need to not work. When I am taking time off, I need to completely unplug, thus allowing myself the time and leisure to enjoy self-care. By taking up bits of time on my days off to fit in some work duties here and there, I am actually chewing into the opportunitfor me to explore what it is that I want to do for myself. What I want to do is not always obvious. Some days I want to go for a walk. Other days I want to visit a friend. Some days I want to go shopping or get myself to a yoga class. These decisions need to be fully explored and by jamming my off days with busy work at every opportunity, I am not giving myself the time to investigate.  

I am managing stuff that isn’t mine 

When I step outside of my own business and try to control things in other people’s lives, I start to feel disempowered. And rightfully so because outside of our own lives, I have no power to affect anything else. This activity is wasting my precious time and energy, and is leaving me depleted and not excited about doing anything for my own self-care.  

So with these revelations and the honest self-talk that comes with them,  I have decided to change my approach to my personal goals around self-care. I am going to set clear and consistent boundaries with others ensuring that I am preserving and protecting my energy and time. I am also going to begin to block off time and respect that it means that I am off of work completely. No more sneaking into my office to look at emails or complete a half-done article. And lastly, I am going to come back to my own business. I am going to focus only on things that are in my arena to manage – within my power to control like: my actions, my perspectives, and my attitudes. 

Are you self-sabotaging? Are you struggling with indulgences like procrastination, distraction, overwhelm? Can you realize that when we say we want something and we don’t make sure it happens we are only hurting ourselves and preventing our own greatness? 

I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram 

To our health and wellbeing,

Karen