Posts

Can’t stop worrying

It is good to know that some worry or concern is healthy.  It indicates that you are noticing risks that may exist in your environment.  You came into this life with this warning system pre-loaded, ready to perform its job.  However, if you are tuning into more risk, worry, and nervousness, than positive emotions, you may want to consider that this part of you is carrying too much of the load.


Signs of Excessive Worrying


Some of the signs that worry is starting to negatively impair your life:


1. You hang out with other worriers

We tend to commune with others that look, feel and sound like we do.  If you notice that the people closest to you only talk about the potential downside of situations, that’s something to bring to your attention.  Misery loves company, and you are both feeding each other’s need to embellish the worry.

2. Your sleep is disrupted with a busy mind

Being unable to sleep because you cannot “turn the mind off” is a sign that thinking may be off the rails.  Go over and over the myriad of possibilities of how things could go wrong keeps your mental warning system working overtime and makes it virtually impossible to slip into a peaceful, refreshing sleep.

3. You feel sad more often than happy

You need to notice what are the predominant emotions that you feel daily. This is a strong indicator of how much worry you are carrying around with you.  This feeling can become so familiar with a habit that you don’t even notice that it is the background noise in your head all day long.  Your emotions, however, will give you a clear signal of that kind of thinking.  If you feel more low than high, worry may be running rampant.


Worrying is Not All Bad

But even if worrying is not hampering your functioning, it doesn’t mean that you should look at it rationally and see where and how you can manage it better.  Even if your worrying is within what you consider the acceptable range, there are still ways you can do something about it.


Here are some suggestions to positively management of worry:

1. Life coaching centered on neurolinguistics deals very effectively and successfully in eliminating negative thought patterns.  By working with the unconscious mind predominately, these thinking patterns are negated. This results in less worry and expanded perceptions of life possibilities for each client.
2. Therapies such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) focuses very successfully on building conscious skills and habits to change negative thought patterns.
3. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation and focused breathing can correct erroneous thinking and bring awareness back to the present moment.
4. Rigorous exercise is stellar for physical as well as mental health.  It stimulates positive hormonal release while keeping one’s focus in the present moment.


It’s All About Balance


Remember that worry is not the enemy and has a place and purpose.  It is when that worry is out of balance that corrective action needs to happen.  Anyone or a combination of the above suggestions can restore balance quickly and result in a more calm and comfortable living experience.
If you are interested in learning more about neurolinguistics as a coaching modality to deal with worry, stress, anxiousness, or overwhelm, log onto my website at itcanbedifferent.ca and book a complimentary consultation.  You could be on your way to a less worrying life very soon.

It’s the time for Personal Growth

It is only just this week that I have felt motivated and energetic enough to write down my 2021 ambitions and desires. I was nervous, (along with everyone else on the planet), hoping that our American neighbours transitioned into their democracy peacefully. Now that the pomp and circumstance around the inauguration are over (thankfully, it all happened without any further violence), I sense in myself a desire to start thinking about this year, and particularly about what I want to realize for myself and my business.

Personal Growth

Many people ask me if my coaching modality, Rewire Your Mind™, can be helpful for anyone feeling trapped, stuck, or dissatisfied in their professional life. My response is always a reminder that we show up the same in all of our relationships and all situations, and if our thinking is limiting one area of our life it is limiting the other areas too. What is also worth mentioning is that we cannot expect any part of our lives to grow beyond our basic emotional state. Meaning that our primary emotions are invisible walls that we must scale to get to our dreams. This all means that to become a better person (personal or professional), we must identify the thoughts and behaviours that are holding us back and actively work towards letting them go.

Personal growth is about uncovering the unconscious patterns that keep repeating themselves and then bringing them up to consciousness so that they can be modified and changed. It’s about going through a detailed and in-depth process of seeing ourselves clearly without pretension. More specifically, it is about seeing patterns in behaviour and habits so that what is hurting us can be separated from what is helping us.

We Are The Same Everywhere

Since our careers are always a reflection of us, the issues we haven’t worked through in our personal life tend to show up in our business life and vise versa. Until we make this connection, assume responsibility for the work we need to do, and change the way we show up in those situations, the same issues will recur. This means we will continue to limit the potential of ourselves and our businesses. Personal growth takes courage and a willingness to look at ourselves with deep honesty. We have to accept that our behaviours and attitudes, regardless of how strongly associated we are with them, may no longer be working for us, and they may be blocking us from the experiences that we so desire.

Round and Round We Go

Having an unconscious pattern running our lives is like driving on a roundabout and not being able to take the exit – so round and round we go. We know we have seen the scenery before, yet we convince ourselves that maybe this time we will be able to take the exit, only to be disappointed yet again. The good news is that when we master what was once unconscious behaviour or attitudes, instead of going around in circles, we develop the ability to make new choices and direct our life and business in new and exciting directions. That’s when we can finally take the exit and get off the roundabout for good.

New Year Growth

Why not make 2021 the year that you adopt the tools available for personal growth and uncover, once and for all, what is holding you back. This journey will give you the seeds that you need to plant your garden of possibility and potential. Instead of using your precious energy to deal with unresolved emotional issues and baggage (and keep driving on the roundabout and never getting off), use your energy to build the life of your dreams while making a difference in the world. If you are ready to dream bigger and think more expansive thoughts, and live from joy, both in work and play, request a complimentary consultation through my website; itcanbedifferent.ca. My proprietary coaching model, Rewire Your Mind™ is certified to break down unconscious thinking, emotions, and habits while creating openings for you to install supportive, powerful, and self-directed alternatives.

Let’s start 2021 nowcoa

The Stressful Movie

What is stress exactly?  Although it is a heavily used word today, most of us don’t have a grasp of what stress exactly is, nor how to manage it.  We all can agree, however, that when we feel stressed we are not happy, and we want the experience to be over as soon as possible but do we know what is happening inside of us, the dance between our mind and body, that is feeding the stress response?  Chances are the answer to that question is no, and so we feel we are victim to stress.

Stress on the Fishing Line of Life

I picture stress in the same way as I do the tension on a fishing line tethered between the pole and the hook.  Like us, the fishing line is built to handle a certain amount of strain, and if this is too great (because the ‘fish’ is too big), then it is subject to deterioration and breakage.  Not surprisingly, when a person is stressed they will use words such as tense, stretched, or strained, similar to how one would describe the fishing line.

Interactions between humans, particularly emotional interactions, are like the interplay between the fishing line and the fish in the above metaphor.   These human interactions affect both our biological and psychological functioning in overt as well as subtle ways.  Easily identifiable stressors in life (the big fish, so to speak) are things like divorce, job loss, death of a loved one, and illness.  Even chronic daily stress such as dealing with traffic congestion and facing excessive workload demands that can wear away at our wellbeing.  Understanding the relationship between our emotional and physiological environment is critical to our health.  Unfortunately, despite decades of groundbreaking work in the area of the mind/body connection, the chief medical approach to health and illness continues to suppose that the body and the mind are not connected.

Higher Perspective of Stress

When we relax and observe the experience of stress from a higher perspective, we get some interesting insights.  We can see that stress typically has three distinct and related components.  First, there is the stress event itself, which can be either a physical or an emotional moment.  The second element is the processing of the experience, the interpretation of the event, which gives it meaning and codifies it as stressful by the individual.  The third and last element is the response to the event, which involves various physiological and behavioral reactions.

The determination of a stressor (or stressful situation) depends predominately on the second component, the processing by the individual.  The processing is based on the beliefs held by the individual, generalizations about the world, and opinions of it. These beliefs form the rules about what we think we can and cannot do and what should and should not happen.

Further, the interpretation of the event is dependant on the personality and the psychological state of the individual.  For example, the experience of the loss of a job can create different reactions in different people.  A person for which the experience does not create financial hardship may still respond with high stress if their deep-seated beliefs about self-worth or acceptance are tied directly to their job title and status.  These less tangible feeders to stress are resonant from a person’s past, and even though the stress event is experienced in the present, it is the past that determines the response and its intensity.

Change The Movie

The area of study under neurolinguistics supports the realization that individuals’ past beliefs no longer need to be a legacy that carries forward unchallenged or unchanged.  These beliefs can be modified and even eliminated to support a person’s desire for a more peaceful, harmonious, and less stressful life.  Working with the power of language, mind mapping, the unconscious mind, rapid and healthy improvements to how life events are interpreted can be realized.   Life events may be out of our immediate and direct control however, the interpretation of these events is significantly within one’s control.

We are the moviemakers of our life.  We are giving our life direction straight from the Director’s chair every day.  The problem is that so many people are creating the same type of life “movie”; a fear-based, stress-filled movie.  I believe that type of “movie” has been oversold and overdone in today’s society. Why not change your movie into a more relaxed and enjoyable one and with scenes that give you pleasure and joy?  Your blockbuster is just waiting for you, the Director, to show up and take over.

If you are interested in how you can begin making your desired life movie today, go to my website and book your complimentary consultation today.  I look forward to chatting with you.

Let’s talk Uncertainty

My coaching and researching over the years have resulted in the awareness that stress and anxiousness are rooted in three main drivers. Only one of these drivers needs to be present for anyone to start experiencing nervousness. This can easily lead to feeling powerless over time.

The three drivers are:

  1. A perceived lack of control
  2. Perceived lack of information, knowledge, and wisdom
  3. Perceived lack of feeling safe and sure.

When these drivers present in our lives for extended periods, they can show up in our bodies as uncomfortable feelings like heaviness or resistance. We use names for these bodily feelings like fear, unease, worry, overwhelm, stress, and anxiety.

It’s Only Natural

As human beings, we naturally crave certainty. We want to feel safe and secure in our environment and for our future. Our ability to accept and live with heightened levels of uncertainty has become second nature since the COVID-19 pandemic. Factors such as the economy, employment, finances, and health (both mental and physical) are challenging us like never before.

Everyone is different in how much uncertainty they tolerate before they feel the strain on bodily and neurological systems. For some, taking risks and living unpredictable lives is fun, exciting and they can’t imagine running their lives any other way. For others, high levels of randomness are deeply distressing.

The bottom line is that we all have a limit and that if you are feeling overwhelmed by the current level of current uncertainty, you are not alone. Many people are experiencing the same emotions right now. Know that no matter how helpless and hopeless you may feel right now, there are valuable steps that you can take to better deal with the level of uncertainty, alleviate your anxiousness and allow you to face the unknown.

Learning to Copy

Let’s face it, this feeling of uncertainty is not going anywhere. It has been with us since the beginning of time and an unavoidable part of life over the millennia. Very little is constant and you can’t control everything that happens. The 2020 pandemic has shown us that life can change radically and very quickly.

To cope with uncertainty, we try to predict the future thinking that will help us avoid any nasty surprises. In many ways this is a waste of time and energy, as this type of thinking only leads to overwhelm and worry. Conjuring up endless scenarios of negative outcomes is simultaneously robbing you of the enjoyment and pleasure of the present moment. It saps your energy, eliminates joy and many times creates unwanted and unnecessary behavior and habits.

Two Coping Mechanisms

Two ways to cope with uncertainty are more healthily are:

  1. Focus on what you can control

Whatever your fears or personal circumstances are, instead of worrying about the uncontrollable, refocus your mind to acting over the aspects that are within your control. For example, if you are worried about your health during the pandemic, act by regularly washing your hands, cleaning surfaces, and avoiding crowds. You can also amplify your ability to control your outcome by relentlessly focusing on you and your family being healthy. Allow only those images and thoughts to come into your awareness. Refuse to engage in any dialogue that does not support this as a reality.

  1. Accept that life is uncertain

The one thing that is sure about life is that it is unsure – but that isn’t always a bad thing. For every unpleasant surprise, there are good things that happen out of the blue as well. Think about the job offer that appeared, the unexpected phone call from a friend, or the chance awareness of information when you needed it. An opportunity arises from the unexpected and learning to deal with uncertainty can allow you to reap the rewards of the unknown.

Life is filled with uncertainty and these times are especially trying with so much unknown. Taking positive steps to reduce your overall stress and anxiousness can help interrupt the downward spiral of a negative thought. It will help you find your inner calm, and better cope with the ups and downs in your life. If you are interested in learning how my proprietary coaching method, Rewire Your Mind® can help you go from stressing to progressing in 3 proven steps, click HERE for a complimentary consultation.

 

Awareness Equals Choice

Distraction

In my last blog I talked about how distractions such as Netflix, social media, online shopping, alcohol and so forth turn us away from the brilliant array of awareness that have come forward for us during this pandemic. Awareness with regards to how we interact with ourselves, each other, other living species and our planet in general. Having awareness with regards to our civil liberties and their fragility at this time. Awareness concerning the impacts on sustainability with globalization and relentless year-over-year growth demands.

Getting caught in all of the overt media messaging that is typically highly polarized and fear-driven can cause even the strongest willed amongst us to want to tap out and focus on anything that takes them in a different direction. However, by temporarily turning away from these distractions and allowing ourselves time to imagine how we want to respond to our new reality and how we can contribute to an evolution of consciousness, we can reverse the natural instinct to hide and instead encourage and feed the feelings of expansion and optimism.

Opening Up Choice Requires Awareness

The other benefit of having these new awareness and perspectives is that it opens up choice.  When we see that there are many ways to consider and construct our reality right here and now, we also see that there is always a choice in how we both think and behave today. Ordinarily, we are so distracted from our own internal state of being that we don’t see these choices. If we don’t see them, we certainly cannot act upon them. We end up running on autopilot, doing the same things day after day, avoiding the opportunity to drive a new reality for ourselves and others.

Stepping into making conscious choices starts with being willing to take a hard look at tough societal topics and not running away from them or muting them out with distraction. The willingness to have full awareness of the issues and their impacts on others opens up an array of alternatives as to how each of us can behave, think and feel going forward. Ironically, it is the assumption that one does not have a choice that leads to feelings of anxiousness. This is also the familiar feeling of being trapped with no options. Over a long period of time, this state can result in a life of apathy, indifference and repetition.

New World Reality

Choice gives us freedom. We are where we are individually and collectively because of our past decisions and choices. Together, and as solitary beings, we have choice as to how we are going to grow from the 2020 pandemic. This growth rests firmly on the shoulders of how much we are open to new perspectives and awareness. The acceptance of the responsibility to make new choices is what will drive us towards our new enlightened society. It is a great leap forward towards the dream of a new world and it rests on making new choices.

Let’s Connect

If you are interested in how my trademarked coaching program can move from fear to courage, request a complimentary consultation today. Alternatively, tune into my bi-weekly webinars by registering on my website and learn how you can reset your emotions easily and effortlessly even during this global pandemic.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

The Dangers of Distraction

Interconnection

The COVID-19 pandemic has taught us many things as it relates to virus transmission. It has also shone a light on the degree to which we are all interconnected, both to each other and to the mother earth. How we choose to interact with each other and with nature has proven to have a profound impact on not only our current environment, but also the state of our future environment. We no longer see ourselves or our societies as solitary units. We can no longer split nature from societal health and wellbeing either.

What is even more concerning than the current pandemic issues however, is the possibility that we may not seize the opportunity for massive change in how we interact and that we may go back to the way things were when this is all over. How devastating (literally) it could be if we take that road. The lesson that our way of relating to each other and our planet before COVID is unsustainable and awaits our awareness.

Distractions from our Interconnections

The real threat to us not getting our lessons is the powerful distractions that have been worked into society. Screens of all sizes and functionality are drawing our attention away from the very learnings that we need to capture. The internet, the so-called saviour of the days of social distancing because it allowed us to connect with family and friends, is actually a double-edged sword. On one hand it brings dinner parties, family gatherings and business meetings into our homes, while it also streams media, news, podcasts and so on that potentially keep us locked in trauma and fear.

It is time to step away from the distractions that keep us locked in fear. It is time to moderate our diet of any extreme, polarized dialogue. By allowing ourselves to slip into being lazy and intoxicated by the hypnotic nature of media in all of its variations, we run the real risk of just going back to living our lives as individualized, separatists not willing to look beyond our own front door.

Back to Finding Beauty

The good news is that by becoming grounded with nature and putting our energy into beauty such as observing or creating art, music,  poetry or dance, we can get back to our core heart-centred self and our fear-dominate ways of thinking melt away. Our core being has not been kidnapped and taken way, it has just been blind-folded and muted by decades of media influence. By investing time into activities such as walking in a park, playing with our kids, creating healthy meals, strumming a guitar, or listening to opera, we can shift our attention back to our own natural state of peacefulness and wholeness.

Feeling safe doesn’t come from a lack of a threat, but from a connection with one’s own inner truth. Emotional connection, namely with one’s self has been proven to be more important than physical safety when dealing with traumatic events. We all have the ability to give ourselves exactly what we need right now to process the context of our lives and it is probably not by watching more broadcasted news. We can dial down fear by monitoring the distraction factor. It is called the off button.

Let’s Connect

If you are interested in how my coaching program can help you move from fear to courage, request a complimentary consultation today. Alternatively, tune into my bi-weekly webinars by registering on my website and learn how you can reset your emotions easily and effortlessly even during this global pandemic.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

A Shift in Plans

I am a planner. I have a long-term, detailed plan for all aspects of my life; work, travel, health, finances. What has secretly driven me to become such an excellent planner is my naturally anxious state. My plans give me ease and assurances when my nervousness is heightened. I review them, re-write them and imagine them coming into reality almost on a daily basis.

As a young child, I had a pink teddy bear that I adored. He was my comforter and who I turned to in times when I felt uncertain. I would cling to Teddy each night as I lay in my bed. I would tell Teddy my future plans each night before I fell asleep.

Why Do I Plan?

I grew up in a household that was controlled by a very strict mother. The uncertainty of her moods made me and everyone else in household live on edge. One of her particular characteristics was her habit to change her mind on just about everything at the last minute.  Premade plans were pretty much always cancelled. I am still not sure what all of that was about for her, but I know it had a profound effect on me growing up and still does as an adult. The sense of unreliability of anything turning out as orchestrated has turned me into the obsessive planner that I am today.

Obsessive Planning vs COVID-19

So, here is the question. What does an obsessive planner do in a COVID-19 pandemic environment where all previous plans deserve a toss into the garbage and there is no reliable foundation upon which to write new ones?

Limit Situation

We have all been thrown into what is known as a “limit situation”.  By definition, a limit situation is any situation in which a human being is said to have differing experiences from those arising from ordinary situations. Limit situations unsettle us, remove us from our social bonds and force us to find new ways of existing with ourselves and others.  They also trigger anxiety from the knowledge that the old way of being cannot survive.

Letting Go of Long-Term Planning

So, the work that I have engaged myself in lately is discovering how to let go of my love for long-term planning and at the same time, keep my anxiety down during COVID-19. I’ve come to realize that I need to now think in terms of short-term projects and give up on long-term planning. I need to shift my focus to projects that are quick to come to fruition and that can stimulate a sense of momentum. I need to change my activities to anything that I can complete in a month, a week or even a day.

So, instead of spending time planning a trip to see my family in Australia because I truly don’t know when international travel will open up again, I am taking small steps each day to reach out to them on social media, to send over a package every once in a while and even to write handwritten notes that can be mailed overseas. Before the pandemic, sending a social media post seemed rather inconsequential. Today, it is small step that makes me feel less anxious about my connection with my loved ones so far away.

Trust Your Instincts and Think Smaller

We are in a perfect time to engage in small, micro activities.  We can choose to trust our instincts. The larger purpose of what we will focus on will be revealed to us in due time. The leap of faith is that even without a long-term plan, we are still on course and that all of our micro activities during the pandemic will add up in the end and everything will work itself out.

It is not a time for go big or go home, we are already home. It is a time for our focus to be on small, meaningful steps towards contributing the best we can to our family, our work and to the virus containment efforts and let these smaller activities melt our anxiousness away.

Let’s Connect

If you are interested in how my trademarked coaching program can move from fear to courage, request a complimentary consultation today. Alternatively, tune into my bi-weekly webinars by registering on my website and learn how you can reset your emotions easily and effortlessly even during this global pandemic.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

From Fear to Courage

There is a lot of fear running through the world right now, and you are most likely feeling some of it yourself. Fear is such a powerful emotion. It can paralyze us even in the good times and block us from our health, wealth, well-being, and connections to others and even ourselves. I believe that at this time we are feeling these blocks more than ever.

Fear

Fear takes many forms from anxiety, worry, panic, tension, nervousness, distrust, defensiveness, obsessive thinking and uncertainty just to name a few. As long as we feel and believe that we are separate, this mindset will chase us down.

When we are lost in fear, what we often think about is how we will get hurt, what we will lose, and how we cannot protect ourselves or those we care about. Even the most successful amongst us are constantly avoiding or being subtly manipulated by fear.

Courage

Underneath fear is a more powerful and useful energy known as courage. It takes getting past fear however, to tap into courage and its resourcefulness. When we overcome fear, there are vistas of new possibilities to explore. We feel safer even in the very situation that is currently so scary for us contemplate and see solutions where before there was only problems to consider.  We enjoy the quiet and our thoughts are supportive of the having, being and doing that we desire.

Our minds rest in the knowing that we can handle whatever life throws our way. We have the self-confidence to take on challenges that now seem insurmountable. We feel happier, more relaxed, stronger and grateful to be alive. This allows us become a role model for others because of our strength.

I firmly believe that this current COVID-19 situation is asking humanity to step into their collective and individual courageousness. As a result, a lot of our deep inner fears are rising to the surface for awareness and healing. This is an opportunity to finally let go of past baggage and to move into a “lighter” version of ourselves.

Time for Deep Questions

One of the best ways to move past fear and into courage is to ask yourself some key questions and then to let the answers and learnings to float into our awareness. It is not about forcing the answers, it’s about allowing the questions to marinade for as long as they need for the answers to reveal themselves.

Questions That Help Me Push Past Fear and Into Courage

  1. How is my fear influencing my response to current events?
  2. Am I rushing to act or decide based on any sense of fear or panic?
  3. Who am I being asked to be for myself right now?
  4. If an important decision was needed to be made right now, what would it be?
  5. If I am able to leave all of my identities behind, what identities would I want to take forward?

The Road Ahead

The road ahead will be bumpy however, I know in my soul that all will be well. The unease and restless feeling that we are experiencing is tempting us to let go of our fear and step into our courageousness. Create the space for what can be; the expansion of ourselves and all of humanity. Lean into fear knowing that all growth comes from discomfort. All we really have to do is exhale, release and let go.

Let’s Connect

If you are interested in how my coaching program can help you move from fear to courage, request a complimentary consultation today. Alternatively, tune into my bi-weekly webinars by registering on my website and learn how you can reset your emotions easily and effortlessly even during this global pandemic.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy

Karen Spencer to be Featured on Close Up Radio

I am so excited to be featured on Close Up Radio with Jim Masters this Tuesday May 5th at 1 p.m EST. I hope you will join us!

With all the incredible challenges and pressures we face both personally and professionally, life can be extremely tough. No wonder we can may become anxious, stressed, and lose our way. The fact is every single one of us can use guidance and mentoring but many of us don’t realize how we are unwittingly stuck in our own limiting beliefs that actually prevent us from attaining our goals and life dreams. That’s why an excellent life coach is necessary. Not someone telling us what to do, but someone who can objectively help us navigate our lives, give us a more positive outlook, and motivate us to live up to our fullest potential.

Karen is an exceptional Life Coach and Founder/CEO of It Can Be Different, a Life coaching practice.

“My coaching work is centered on helping intellectual, driven, passionate adults going through tough times struggling with anxiety, stress, or feeling totally overwhelmed,” says Karen. “I assist my clients to gain perspective, become self-aware, refocus their thinking, and develop clear strategies in all aspect of their lives. When they are able to identify core values instead of being fixated on their problems they can break through those blocks, discover different pathways, and find appropriate joyful solutions.”

Prior to starting her coaching practice, Karen worked in corporate for over 25 years. For most of her adult life, she battled stress and anxiety which negatively impacted her career and family life. Over time as her stress increased, she took the advice of her doctors and went on anti-depressants. After several years of being on different meds she realized she craved natural healing. Yoga and meditation helped a great deal but it was after working with a life coach that not only did she find clarity, healing, and authentic joy, but that her purpose and mission was to become a Life coach so others can reorganize their lives, find balance, and achieve their dreams.

“I can truly relate to my clients because I have been lost muddling my way through life thinking it was normal just as they have,” says Karen. “It’s critical for people to understand that living in a constant state of stress is not something we should accept as normal. We must innovate life strategies, embrace self-discovery, and realize that if we change negative life patterns we can move forward confidently and regain that spark for life.”

Karen says when we take the first decisive step to help ourselves we are also assisting future generations. As we shift with positivity and new insight, our vibration changes and transcends so we reach multi generations beyond our life time, yet another reason why coaching is absolutely pivotal.

“Part of my philosophy is to help encourage people to understand how our unhappiness is rooted in the fact that we don’t feel we have any control over our own lives when we absolutely do,” says Karen. “Our joy should not be only in our future goals like anticipating true love or waiting for that promotion to happen, but in living mindfully, so we can be happy in the moment right here and right now.”

According to Karen, we are all meant to be in a natural state of joy, abundance, and love and when we are surrounded by negativity it is a clear indication we are not on our true path.

“Even though we deal with everyday life issues and challenges it’s critical for people to know we are not broken,” says Karen. “There is a simple and easy way to not get sidetracked but rather improve our lives, accomplish what we want, and we deserve to do this for not only our own well- being but for the good of the entire world.”

Close Up Radio will feature Karen Spencer in an interview with Jim Masters on Tuesday May 5th at 1 p.m. EST

Listen to the show on BlogTalkRadio

Article Credit

Keeping Our Cool in These Stressful Times

At times such as these, our life is uncertain and each day we are exposed to additional information about the health of our world, communities and families. It is important that we resist reacting and instead we consciously choose to calmly respond.

What is Reacting?

While react and respond are similar words, they mean completely different things. Reacting in stressful times is instinctual and it comes from the unconscious mind. It is a process of operating on autopilot without any filtering. This is when you say things without thinking or you act without considering the ramifications of your behaviour.

What is Responding?

Responding on the other hand is more thoughtful and it involves exploring possible outcomes and thinking through options. It is when you take a step back and weigh the pros and cons of your choices. What would be best for yourself and others in the situation?

What kind of person would you rather be, especially at this stressful time? Would you rather be the type of person who creates a calm and happy environment for yourself and your family or would you prefer to be the kind of person who is a wild card, totally out of control and moving rapidly from one emotional state to another? The key to being calm and collected is to be mindfully present and have awareness of when you have been triggered.

How to Stay Mindfully Present Through Anxiety

So how do you become mindfully present when anxiety has yet again washed over you? The best way is to step back and create some distance, physically and energetically, between the trigger (the event) and yourself. Become the observer of your emotional state and be inquisitive as to why you are feeling that way. Refrain from judging how you feel and instead just accept it and observe it.

It is also good to take a few deep breaths as you allow the effects of the trigger to reduce or fade away. The fading could take a minute, an hour, a day or even a week. Every person and every situation are different. The gift of creating distance when you are triggered is the allowance for you to consciously choose how you are going to respond.

Be AWARE

Here is an acronym that I came up with to help myself and my clients in the moment when we are triggered, and we want to avoid reacting negatively. It is AWARE.

A – Awareness

Just recognize that you have been triggered. For example, you are listening to the news and the headline is about a negative prediction about the pandemic and it causes you to feel anxious.  This is also a good time to ask yourself, what is actually triggering you. Was it the event itself (the news headline) or was it related to your thinking around the event (the story you are telling yourself about the imagined outcome)?

W – Wait

This is where you give yourself time to breathe and create space. It could be shutting off the newsfeed, hanging up from the phone call, ending the conversation, walking away or any other means to create physical or energetic distance.

A – Accept

Here is where you make sure you accept your emotions and you do not judge them as bad.  Remember, a healthy adult feels all of their emotions. Tell yourself that it is ok to feel the negative emotions and that it is normal and appropriate.

R – Respond

This is the big step. Here is the fork in the road. Here lies your opportunity to choose the road that has the best overall outcome. This is where you ask yourself, what is my goal and how can I respond in such a way that supports my goal in the best manner? Evaluate each possible response as to whether it takes you closer or further away from your goal.

E – Energy

Now you move forward from a place of awareness that you can choose the best, healthiest and most empowered response for yourself and others.

Although responding instead of reacting is not easy initially it can become easier with practice.  It is unlikely to be responsive all of the time. However, decreasing the amount of time you are reactive and staying centered most of the time is a worthy enterprise. The faster you have awareness of when you are triggered, the faster you will be able to regulate yourself and get yourself back on track.

Let’s Connect

If you are curious as to how my coaching can assist you in developing your ability to respond instead of react and to keep your life moving forward even in stressful times, request a complimentary consultation.

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Disclaimer and Privacy Policy