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The Stressful Movie

What is stress exactly?  Although it is a heavily used word today, most of us don’t have a grasp of what stress exactly is, nor how to manage it.  We all can agree, however, that when we feel stressed we are not happy, and we want the experience to be over as soon as possible but do we know what is happening inside of us, the dance between our mind and body, that is feeding the stress response?  Chances are the answer to that question is no, and so we feel we are victim to stress.

Stress on the Fishing Line of Life

I picture stress in the same way as I do the tension on a fishing line tethered between the pole and the hook.  Like us, the fishing line is built to handle a certain amount of strain, and if this is too great (because the ‘fish’ is too big), then it is subject to deterioration and breakage.  Not surprisingly, when a person is stressed they will use words such as tense, stretched, or strained, similar to how one would describe the fishing line.

Interactions between humans, particularly emotional interactions, are like the interplay between the fishing line and the fish in the above metaphor.   These human interactions affect both our biological and psychological functioning in overt as well as subtle ways.  Easily identifiable stressors in life (the big fish, so to speak) are things like divorce, job loss, death of a loved one, and illness.  Even chronic daily stress such as dealing with traffic congestion and facing excessive workload demands that can wear away at our wellbeing.  Understanding the relationship between our emotional and physiological environment is critical to our health.  Unfortunately, despite decades of groundbreaking work in the area of the mind/body connection, the chief medical approach to health and illness continues to suppose that the body and the mind are not connected.

Higher Perspective of Stress

When we relax and observe the experience of stress from a higher perspective, we get some interesting insights.  We can see that stress typically has three distinct and related components.  First, there is the stress event itself, which can be either a physical or an emotional moment.  The second element is the processing of the experience, the interpretation of the event, which gives it meaning and codifies it as stressful by the individual.  The third and last element is the response to the event, which involves various physiological and behavioral reactions.

The determination of a stressor (or stressful situation) depends predominately on the second component, the processing by the individual.  The processing is based on the beliefs held by the individual, generalizations about the world, and opinions of it. These beliefs form the rules about what we think we can and cannot do and what should and should not happen.

Further, the interpretation of the event is dependant on the personality and the psychological state of the individual.  For example, the experience of the loss of a job can create different reactions in different people.  A person for which the experience does not create financial hardship may still respond with high stress if their deep-seated beliefs about self-worth or acceptance are tied directly to their job title and status.  These less tangible feeders to stress are resonant from a person’s past, and even though the stress event is experienced in the present, it is the past that determines the response and its intensity.

Change The Movie

The area of study under neurolinguistics supports the realization that individuals’ past beliefs no longer need to be a legacy that carries forward unchallenged or unchanged.  These beliefs can be modified and even eliminated to support a person’s desire for a more peaceful, harmonious, and less stressful life.  Working with the power of language, mind mapping, the unconscious mind, rapid and healthy improvements to how life events are interpreted can be realized.   Life events may be out of our immediate and direct control however, the interpretation of these events is significantly within one’s control.

We are the moviemakers of our life.  We are giving our life direction straight from the Director’s chair every day.  The problem is that so many people are creating the same type of life “movie”; a fear-based, stress-filled movie.  I believe that type of “movie” has been oversold and overdone in today’s society. Why not change your movie into a more relaxed and enjoyable one and with scenes that give you pleasure and joy?  Your blockbuster is just waiting for you, the Director, to show up and take over.

If you are interested in how you can begin making your desired life movie today, go to my website and book your complimentary consultation today.  I look forward to chatting with you.

Podcast Highlights: The Psychological Edge

On Thursday, October 8th, I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Alistair McBride for his podcast – Dealing with Goliath:  Psychological Edge for Business Leaders.  Al’s mission is to help sharpen the psychological edge in business leaders with skin in the game and who wants to be more effective under pressure, uncover hidden value, and increase profitability.  His podcast focuses on giving his listeners quick insights to boost their business performance by interviewing leaders in the area of mindset management. Here is a quick synopsis of the interview:

 

1. Who is your ideal client, what is their biggest challenge?

 

An ideal client is anyone who is smart and passionate, and who is going through a tough time. They also realize that they need to get past who they think they are and the way they have been conditioned to think to realize their dreams.  The biggest challenge for my clients is believing that they can be different because their experience with stress, worry, and anxiousness has been so pervasive.   For many, they have forgotten what it feels like to be their magnificent, productive, happy self.

 

2. What are the common mistakes people make when trying to solve that problem?

 

 The most common mistake people make is they focus only on the symptom of their anxiety, stress, or worry,  namely how they are feeling.  They work so hard to change how they feel, and in doing so, many have developed habits and coping skills that cost them dearly in time and money.  The root of their negative emotional state, their deep, unconscious beliefs, remains unchanged, and consequently the problem never really transforms.

 

3. What is one valuable free action that the audience can implement that will help with that issue?

 

The best advice I can give anyone on the spot is to become keenly aware and selective regarding where they put their attention.  I call it the currency of attention.  We are all careful and considerate with the currency of money and we only spend our money on things or experiences that give us joy or move us forward in life.  We all need to be just as diligent with our attention and considerate it also to be valuable as our money.  Put your attention only on things, experiences, and images that propel your life forward in a positive manner.

 

4. What is one valuable free resource that you can direct people to that will help with that issue?

 

On my website (itcanbedifferent.ca) I offer a free audio tool entitled Focus and Peace.  This is a 5-minute meditation that easily brings your attention back to now and stops you from experiencing negative emotions.  You will feel calmer and more centered instantly.

 

5. What’s the one question I should have asked you that would be of great value to our audience?

 

The one question that would be of most value is, “Can anyone achieve emotional freedom?”  The answer is yes.   Everyone is biologically set up to be whole which means not fighting with parts of themselves, not experiencing negativity, and instead fully moving towards a confident, progressing, affluent and peaceful life.  The roadblocks that have been hampering them in achieving that life so far have to do with how they have been conditioned. And since that was learned it can be unlearned.

 

To listen to the full interview with Alistair McBride, click below.

 

It’s time to remove the psychological edge by eliminating anxiousness, worry, and stress. Head to my website and request a complimentary consultation. Let’s chat about my proprietary coaching model, “Rewire Your Mind®, and how it can move you from stressing to progressing in as little as 3 months, guaranteed.

 

It’s All In Your Imagination

Sitting in my home office and looking outside my window onto the street below I see the neighbourhood children playing. The boys are practicing their basketball skills, each imagining that they are the next Kawhi Leonard. A group of younger girls are kneeling down together as they draw a colourful game of hopscotch on the sidewalk with chalk.  Farther down the street I can see a lemonade stand being attended to by a bunch of cheerful want-to-be entrepreneurs.

Remember When We Were Children?

Taking all of this in has made me wonder, when did I stop using my imagination and why? When was the last time I imagined that I was the “star” player, an artist, or even a successful entrepreneur?

As we grow up and move into our teenage and then adult years, we begin to stop “pretending”. We begin to believe that we need to take life seriously. Many of us get repeated messaging from adults like, “get your head out of the clouds”, “quit dreaming” or “act serious”.

Imagination is a Gift

This move away from using our imagination does us a disservice in the long run for it is our imagination that keeps life interesting. It is in our imagination where new ideas flourish, we solve our problems in unique ways, and where we develop our self-confidence. Imagining ourselves successfully facing a job interview or nailing a work presentation, or even imaging ourselves enjoying a first date wires our brain with the necessary neurology to execute that act exactly as desired.

Actively using our imagination also turns on positive, super-charged chemicals in our brains and we get an immediate lift in how we feel in the moment. And the more we run the imaginary events over and over again in our brain, the better and more positive and confident we feel and the probability of the positive result actually occurring goes up exponentially. And isn’t it better to live in an imaginary world of positivity than rooted in fear or anxiety?

This gift that we have of imagination is just that, a gift for it is what separates us humans from most other forms of life on this planet. No other animal has the ability to garner imagination. Only us humans can look forward, plan, and “see” our imagined future from where we stand today.

We must stop assuming that imagination is only for children.  It is for anyone who wants to set goals, achieve results, or generally become happier in life.

Let’s Connect

How can you practice imagination today?  What in your life can you build an imaginary story around?  What’s stopping you from imagining – nothing!

And as always, I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram 

To our Health and Wellbeing,

Karen

Anxiety vs Anxiety Disorder

Do you feel unsettled? Have you spent the night tossing and turning in your bed because you can’t sleep? Do you worry excessively? Are you feeling exceptionally stressed and rattled lately? Is something hindering you from functioning properly and being productive? If yes, then you are most likely experiencing anxiety.
There is nothing wrong with being anxious. Everyone gets anxious at some point in their lives, especially before big events. However, if your anxiety drags on for days and affects your daily living, then it is a problem.

What is Anxiety?

Many people use the word anxiety freely. But what really is it?
Anxiety is a strong emotion that is characterized by worrying, nervousness, and being uneasy because of something that is uncertain. How easy it is to define in words, but if you are the one experiencing the anxiety, you know it is not easy or simple.

The Fight or Flight Response

The strong emotion called anxiety is actually related to our fight or flight response. This means it is perfectly normal for a person to feel agitated, nervous, worried or experience difficulty sleeping – especially before a big event.
What is it exactly? It traces back to when man roamed the surface of the Earth endlessly to hunt for food and find a safe place to live. Our ancestors, being exposed to a life of endless running and endless hunting just to survive, developed the fight or
flight response. It is the body’s natural response to when we sense danger.
When our ancestors felt threatened, their bodies released several hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to help them prepare physically in case they needed to fight or run. Our body releases hormones that are meant to keep us physically, yet temporarily, well-equipped – like making our hearts beat faster for better blood circulation. These hormones also make us more alert to our surroundings. And once the threatening situation is out of the way, our bodies start to relax by releasing hormones that encourage muscle relaxation.
If you have experienced an adrenaline rush you must have felt how your whole body shook after the adventure. This normally happens as the body is relaxing the muscles.
Anxiety becomes a problem when it is overwhelming and constant. it may hamper everyday living by making it impossible to eat, sleep, concentrate, and even do our jobs. It is a disorder, a mental health diagnosis, when excessive and significant worry, apprehension and fear are present.

Anxiety Can Be Lethal in the Long Run

Although the symptoms of anxiety will not kill you, the long-term effects of living with stress hormones turned on can lead to life-threatening illnesses. The best thing that you can do for yourself, your family and those you love is to get help with how you manage your anxiety. Therapeutic approaches have proven to be extremely effective in generating life-long elimination of anxiety.

Let’s Connect

My personal journey away from a decade destroyed by anxiety is now my motivation to help others. You can read about my story or listen to my podcast (both can be found on my website). I explain how I discovered the miracle of neurolinguistics and belief-change modalities. My hope is that you find it inspiring and motivational so you can also turn away from anxiety disorder forever.I invite you to join in on the conversation on Facebook and Instagram 

To our health and wellbeing,

Karen

Social Anxiety

Anxiety can show up in many forms. One of these is the intense feelings of nervousness and uncertainty that can occur when meeting new people or going into social situations. This is known as social anxiety. If you are someone who deals with social anxiety, you should know you are not alone. Almost everyone experiences some sort of shyness or introversion when meeting someone new or being in a crowd of people. It’s a natural response to feel somewhat apprehensive. And one that is hardwired into us as a protection mechanism. However, sometimes those feelings can become overwhelming, even debilitating, causing people to stop living their lives to the fullest. It may even impair their ability to do their jobs, go to school, interact with neighbours or take positive actions towards their general wellbeing, like seeing their doctor or dentist.

What Lies Behind Social Anxiety

In many of my previous blogs, I’ve talked quite openly about dealing with anxiety for most of my life. Although my anxiety was intense and frequent, I never experienced social anxiety. My personal experience with anxiety showed up as intense worry about my future. It wasn’t until I was able to get help in identifying and removing my unhealthy unconscious limiting beliefs about my future that my anxiety was actually eliminated. I can however say with much

confidence that a similar approach of dealing with unconscious limiting beliefs would work well with social anxiety.

Underneath the exterior behaviour that usually accompanies social anxiety such as sweating, blushing, and the inability to speak is most likely an internal dialogue of thoughts like; I will look stupid, I will be laughed at, or I am unsafe. Most social anxiety comes from being hurt in the past, either through bullying or teasing. It is in those intense negative experiences that people make decisions (usually unconsciously) that either they deserved what happened because there is something wrong with them, or that being with all other people is actually dangerous.

It Can be Overcome

If you have social anxiety, you may find yourself avoiding going out with friends, applying for jobs or dating. Joining social clubs is totally out of the question. Sometimes people with social anxiety live online, as that feels so much safer. Having a connection online to either people or groups is a good start; however, it cannot replace the benefits of face-to-face connection.

The good news is that social anxiety is understood now more than ever. The anxiousness does not need to be hidden, and admitting to the struggle with social situations is so much more accepted.

Do you struggle with social anxiety? How do you manage your social anxiety? Are you willing to open up to the idea that there could be unconscious limiting beliefs that are holding you back from engaging fully with others? I invite you to join in the conversation on Facebook and Instagram.

To our health and wellbeing,

Karen

What is Anxiety?

what is anxiety

What is anxiety?  How do you know if you have it?  And if you suspect that you do have it or if you have been told you have it, how do you effectively and successfully deal with it?

There is no exact diagnosis for anxiety;it is an observation of symptoms. Some of them can be emotions a person is feeling and displaying and some of them can be physical symptoms that can be observed.

And if you do have these symptoms and if they are plaguing your life, what can you do about it?  Is it controllable?  Can it be overcome?  Can it be understood?  All very good questions and all questions that I have struggled with for most of my adult life and for which I have found some life-changing answers for.

In this blog and blogs to follow, I hope to help you identify the symptoms of anxiety. And to reassure you that you are not alone. If you do suffer from these symptoms then I hope to provide you with tools and techniques and even a therapeutic approach to managing and even overcoming them.

Does Everyone Have Anxiety?

Some level of anxiety is normal and anxiety can even be useful.  We should feel anxious before a job interview.  We should feel the jitters before going on a first date.  However, if you become overcome or even fixated with the anticipation of what’s to come and you find yourself not going to the job interview or opting to stay at home instead of going on that date, then the anxiety has taken a turn and has become detrimental.

As you know, anxiety exists to keep us all safe against real-life threats.  It is part of being human.  It was meant to get us up and running when that wholly mammoth was making a charge towards us.

For Some Anxiety is a Crippling Constant

But for some of us, anxiety has become overwhelming and constant and it rears up sometimes over incidental or even unreal threats.  When this happens, life can become a true misery and suffering can be exhausting and relentless.  Even low-level yet constant anxiety can lead to problems at work, at home and even with one’s health.

Understanding Anxiety is the First Step to Overcoming It

To expect a complete elimination of anxiety would be irrational and not appropriate for your emotional and physiological health.  However, understanding, managing and overcoming unwarranted and damaging anxiety is within your grasp and a life of calm and peace is very much on the horizon.

In my next blog, I am going to describe what anxiety feels like for most people and how it can be easily and effortlessly eliminated.  It can be different and it starts with awareness and understanding.

I invite you to share your experience with anxiety in the comments. You can also join in the conversation on Facebook and Instagram for inspiration. To book your complimentary consultation, please click here.

To our health and wellbeing,

Karen